Bruce Jenner - The Interview

Well, it had all the earmarks of a devastating train wreck.  One that would leave the blood and mangled bodies of the trans community lying all around and which few could not look away from.  But as I saw east coast comments last night (3 hours before I would be able to view it) and learned GLAAD and a couple of trans people I have met, spent time with, who I made a point to have them get to know me and whom I can call friend, were involved in consulting on the piece, I became a little less concerned.  Still, the potential was there.  Then as the show opened and I could feel the same fear that BJ expressed that I had felt all those years of my life, my tears started to flow.  I became hopeful this would turn out good.

I just hope that for the general, non-trans population, the feelings and dysphoria, fear and hiding of such a huge part of our personality was expressed, that they understand just a little bit better.  While it was obvious the production of the interview was not geared to the trans community, it hit home for me with the feelings and fear I had felt since I was 5.  The concern first and foremost that my kids would be ok and not abandon me.

In my talks, especially to the faith communities, that I have given in the past 2 years, I have explained that God endowed me with the soul of a woman.  I have also railed against the stupid "born in the wrong body" statements that are repeated by trans people and media for decades without any thought given to those words and how silly they are.  And there (s)he was expressing those exact same thoughts that I have been teaching about.

I just hope the broader population "gets it" a little more, or at least understands the intense feelings that pervade a trans persons life.  I stand taller, which may be disconcerting being a tall woman already who lives in and loves her heels....lol.  I am emboldened with the need to get out and do more works, talk to others and faith communities, help others understand and take on those that still want to marginalize and religiously judge and condemn us.

I was struck with the common thread that connected the same thoughts and feelings BJ expressed with what I felt and the actions (s)he took in her life.  Those nights slipping out of the house stealthily to embrace a new world that was waiting for me.  Even doing so with the easy potential for discovery, yet I was driven by a need to express the real me.  To just be seen as the true nature of my inner self, my soul.  Outside of me not having been an Olympic Athlete, (s)he was telling my story.  But I may still have time for my Olympic dream, right?

I cried last night.  Cried for the feelings I felt all my life, that I had not explored in several years.  Cried for another sister who was expressing those same feelings, thoughts and needs to be seen.  Cried for how well this interview was handled.

I am so thankful for the professionalism and compassion of Diane Sawyer and the producers of the show.  They took the time to get people involved who would help guide and help get it right.  I am thankful for the humility and humor expressed by BJ.  I am thankful I am trans and that I do the work I do.

The train wreck actually turned into a beautifully streamlined and glistening bullet train, gracefully speeding along the tracks.